sadly i did not get to go see c dawg, my counselor, today. the day was just too crazy to make it up there, and i realized this last night and called and canceled. andy wanted me to travel to greenwood and so i did not see hattiesburg as part of the puzzle. check out a map of mississippi and you'll see why. andy took kate to school, i stayed home to pack, get my thoughts together, oil change, gas up car. theresa arrived sometime while we were in route, and she picked up kate later on. i called to check on them and at 630 the report was that kate was screaming her head off. 1 hour and 1 sippy cup later, all was golden. what a trooper, that theresa. i owe her something big. i don't know what yet that will be, but i do owe her.
so we flew up here after a quick stop in brookhaven to get andy's phone fixed (his trio was near death and a new blackberry was what he needed) and that delay took a bit but we were on the road again and several hours later were checking into the alluvian in greenwood. since we were late for meeting some folks for dinner, we only had about 5 minutes to take our bags up and get back in the car. they had a revolving door and raspberry tea in the lobby and i found out the cook breakfast for you in the am! i intend to be there since it's included.
tonight we ate at the airport grocery in cleveland, ms which is neither an airport or a grocery. it's a yummy restaurant and the fried pickles were delish. what a southern thing to eat. andy is working right now at a business contact's house, and i am here holding down the emails, doing some lagniappe work, and trying to improve my online scrabble skills. in a bit we will head back to greenwood, get some rest, and andy is off to indianola tomorrow for some work.
i am going to hang back in greenwood and wander around and relax. i checked out the spa at the alluvian, but their prices are the highest i've seen so i will refrain. they have good marketing but it's not enough to win me. i am hoping for a late check out so that i won't have to haul my bags around since andy will have the car. it's nice to be out of bay st louis and all the destruction there but i know we will have to go back soon to relieve theresa from kate!
plus theresa came to visit me so i want to go visit her.
i won't be able to go visit c-dawg until the end of july. she is very hard to get an appointment with. the sad thing is, when i called to schedule my appointment, the receptionist knew my voice.
but i will not be ashamed. i had a hard life growing up, with a family that was abusive, abandoning, and not focused on raising a child. it's something i've only come to deal with in the past few months, and i want to grow.
i spend my days at home reading books, trying to think about the things i want to bring up with her, and it's so wonderful to be able to talk to her so that she can help me figure things out. i usually am happy to get there, but i always cry and she always helps me figure things out. andy has been there both times, and he ends up holding my hand even if the issues are between the two of us. since nobody handed me a guidebook to marriage, years 1-5 i am just trying to do my best with prayer and guidance, and lots of talking to people.
here are some of the things that i do that a)make me look like a good wife and b) calm me. doing laundry often. cleaning the countertops so they shine. no sludge on the rim of the potties. emptying the trash. making the beds because i like to sleep in a made bed with smooth sheets. making sure all laundry is in hampers and not on the floor.
i have found these things do not matter to andy. these things do not impress him. what impresses him is me being able to focus my attention on him, being able to appreciate him, drop what i'm doing to acknowledge him. when you are self focused and task oriented like i am, this can be a challenge. so i am trying to do my work before he gets home, in between working for lagniappe, and taking care of kate. good for me that kate is now loving chores. she loves to empty dishwasher, loves to help me make the bed! she loves to pick up toys! she hasn't learned the folding clothes part but she still is young. we'll let that slide for now.
but trying to balance the duties of being a wife as well as a loving wife not just a tidy wife are what i'm working on now.
i even have a method to how i clean rooms. kitchen method: i love to clean it all up and light a candle when i am done, because that signifies that all is clean and i can relax. when the throw pillows on the couch are fluffed, that room is done. then i can sit down and watch some tv or blog.
i wish that these same things relaxed andy or helped him feel at home but he doesn't really care about those things. so we are trying to figure out how to meet in the middle. when andy comes home, he relaxes by playing guitar. this can drive me nutty because it's not talking to me and it's loud. so i need to figure out how to respect that in him.
when we go out, we have 2 different ideas of what is fun. i like a swanky restaurant where you get to get dressed up, feel special, have hubby open doors, gaze into your eyes and shower you with compliments and wonderful conversation and eat some good food. andy likes something laid back and not dressing up with some beer and to bring a few other folks with us so we can talk a lot. so it's just figuring out how we can find some common ground and respect each other.
i love surprises, but i am a control freak. how do those go hand in hand? i have yet to figure that one out about myself.
i think it all goes back to those love languages thing-love your lover in their language, not your own. i love to be loved by being showered with gifts, with acts of service, and with quality time. andy loves to be loved with touch and kind words.
it is not in my nature to encourage or lift up with words, so i am trying to be kind and do so. my nature is selfish and self focused, so if i can quit thinking about myself i should be ok!
if you don't know the five love languages, check it out.

things were good today. kate was excited to school, andy was excited to take her, and i was excited to go to work. we always have staff meetings on tuesday and i love it because we all have the chance to sit down and talk and all work on the same page. andy and i have had lunch 2 days in a row-i feel spoiled! it's been so so great. i picked kate up right after lunch and we played and played but she was really interested in watching "ebo" (elmo) and her "BB" (dvd). andy translated that for me so i was glad to understand what she was saying. we played, tickled, cuddled, took a bath, and she went to bed around 7. andy was at a meeting so he wasn't able to tuck her in, and she missed him, but she was very well behaved.
i worked this afternoon on planning our trip for 2 days to the delta so andy can do some work. i have a wonderful friend, theresa, who is coming to take care of kate for the overnight trip. i typed out some things for her just for my peace of mind and she should be good to go. i've known theresa since i was 4 and we can really trust each other. that says a lot.
my laundry is drying right now, the tv is boring, and andy is working on his computer. i'm also about to sync my ipod.
God is so good to me, i'm exhausted but i'm happy.
andy and i are leaving tomorrow for the delta, and this will be the 2nd time i've ever left kate in the care of someone other than a) andy or b) a daytime babysitter. we are going to the alluvian for some rest and to charge our batteries.
it was a last minute decision but it's one of those mental health decisions-it's needed.
kate is so darling and is again in need of a haircut. her hair grows so fast!

sometimes life goes by, and it goes fast, and it's boring. sometimes, life goes by and it's fast and it's busy. sometimes, life goes by and you are not happy about what is happening but you are happy that it happened.
this is usually what happens when we are doing something we dislike, and then we realize what we are doing.
i have been caught in myself, doing what i want, no matter what the cost to others, and i finally realized that this past week. i am so glad i am able to see my mistakes and move along.
such is life.
time with kate has been wonderful and a good learning time for me. i remember the times where it was kate and me, alone all day, and now that i'm working, those times seem so long ago.
today was kate's first day back at school in over 10 days, and it was hard for me to leave her but she wanted to go, didn't even think twice when i dropped her off. i, of course, thought more than twice-i thought multiple times about leaving her but i was so busy at work this morning, working at the front desk with keri, that i lost track of time. folks here still need help on their homes, still have nowhere to turn, and still are coming to lagniappe for assistance.
andy and i had lunch together, and that was a sweet time. we noticed a grandmother, mom, and child having lunch at the table next to us, and it brought me back to sweet times when kate was steady in the car seat-the one that you can take in places, have lunch, and not even take her out. now she's running around the place causing chaos. i missed kate thoroughly, as you can tell by my post, and ended up not knowing that andy was going to pick her up, so i went to pick her up, and we got there at the same time.
we have been having a wonderful time with her apres school lately, cuddling, since she is taking our time less for granted. bedtime is a sweet time, and it is so good. none of that screaming and crying we had while andy was out of town last week; she's loving going to bed because her daddy is tucking her in. she is more trusting, more relaxed.
i've been into my share of adam sandler movies lately; click, and then the benchwarmers. it's all gospel issues-someone wanting to be loved, someone wanting to have peace, someone wanting to have everything just right.
my internet has been down for 6 days now and today was the first day i've been back online. it's been frustrating but okay.
friday, saturday, and sunday were fun times because andy's sister christy and friends, as well as sister emily and husband roy came to visit us. we had a fun time, as they were able to visit new orleans (we stayed at home) and then we all went to the beau rivage (minus em and roy) to celebrate christy's 21st bday. it was a fun time, especially fun to be there on 7-7-07, and the food was fabulous.
sunday was a good day of rest and beach time, as it was finally sunny, and kate was able to have her longest day ever at the beach, as we took plenty of toys, and she had a blast.
i got to ride a jet ski for the first time in about 6 years, and it was so fun! I'm so thankful for that opportunity-a time to relax and let go.
the sunshine felt good.
today was catchup day on chores and laundry, and all is well at the chapman house.
i'm so glad my husband is back from being out of town, i'm so glad for our mundane routine, because i'm just glad he's part of it.
i'm looking forward to going to visit the counselor on wednesday. she always provides much insight for me.

this sort of looks like me. although no one says that kate favors me, this picture is very much like me. i put on my hairband, my jewelry, and i say, here i am, look at me! kate pranced around after she was so proud to be in my jewelry (which, here comes my pride, i made all of the jewelry on this little model) and i was like, yep, that's what i do. i want someone to notice me so i put on all the glamour, and then pretty soon i get tired of wearing it (just like kate did). thanks, kate.
but she did look cute. she looks cute with or without it.
kate and i had a fun day of sleeping late, playing, separating toys so that we know what goes with what, and then a long bath and a great bedtime with no complaining.
i was praying very much for a good sleeper. i did a big task this afternoon rearranging her bed....i changed all her sheets, switched out all the toys in the crib for ones she hasn't seen in months, and it worked.
i worked very hard today on focusing on her and not myself and it was great. i did not expand horizons and we had so much fun today.
andy got home late tonight but was really sleepy so i tucked him in so that i could finish my daily tasks.
i am glad to be a stay at home mommy, i am thankful for my role, and i am thankful for my thoughtfulness about it and the ability to plan my own schedule.

i am still taking it one day at a time with little kate. today i worked on not expanding my horizons so that i could focus on her intently. that was a good thing. she played very well all morning, parading around with a dirty diaper until finally i couldn't take it any more (lazy me) and i changed it. i paid the price for that because the house smelled for about 30 minutes following the change.

i need to know more about what she does at daycare-what they feed her, how many sippy cups they give her, etc. i have gathered from them that putting her down for a nap is a huge challenge for them, because they said she wants to get up and play. i can understand this. i did the same thing when i was 4. they said, some teachers can get her to sleep. i don't know what that means. i think, that based on the past 2 nights, that they must rock her, sing to her, coddle her, cuddle her, and spend lots of energy putting her down for sleep.
nap time today did not go as i had planned-she cried, and i had to go in there a few times to tell her to lie down. as i entered the room, she immediately lied down but i had to keep going. i didn't want to but the screaming was so bad i had to go offer her a spanking or a nap. she finally went to sleep...and for 2+ hours. (that doesn't happen at daycare, this i know. )

i wrote about bedtime last night, strange as it was because usually she goes right to sleep without a peep. well tonight, no such luck. book after book, cuddle, caress, pray, soothe, put in bed. pray. Scream. Scream. Go tell her to be quiet. scream. i put in earplugs. scream. i turned on the kitchen vent fan. scream. i swiffered. scream. (i could still hear it through the noises. i am very sensitive.) go back in. kate it's okay. go night night i love you. leave. scream. clean my bathroom with the tv on and the vent fan in there on, scream. kate it's okay go night night. (andy would be really mad now, telling me to let her cry it out, but it was a bad cry....i didn't know if something was wrong or not.) i got her more milk. then i could tell it was manipulation-after i walked back in with the 2nd cup, she stuck her hand out of the crib in a "give it to me i know you are bringing me more milk" sort of way, and that made me mad. I'm the parent here. i'm the boss.

more crying, more soothing, more wondering what to do, more frustration, finally after 38 minutes of madness, with earplugs in and vent fans ahoy i heard no more crying.
RELIEF. we need daddy back in town to help with this. i am going to keep her out of daycare tomorrow to work on this some more-i think she is bossing them around, and they can't do anything about it. daycare is-gasp-closed next week so i will be with kate a LONG time.
not that i don't enjoy it, i just have work to do and things that have to be done, and kate only really likes what she wants, not what the greater good wants.


in closing i have some scenes from the witching hour tonight. selfishness, pouting, general almost-two-year-old-ishness. i didn't post them on the grandparent's blog (kate's blog) because i know i'd be reprimanded for such honesty!
other highlights from the day-i finally learned who hannah montana is, thank you disney channel. i also watched the new documentary "Jon and Kate plus 8" which is about the couple that has a set of twins plus a set of...get this...sextuplets. It comes on TLC and it is life altering. They are amazing parents. I feel terrible about myself after I watch them. (Truth is, they have at least 4 secret nannies.)




this is kate with the face where she is intentionally not following directions and proceeding to disobey. she is wadding up a piece of blank paper because i am trying to get her to obey. but her face is so mad!






"Kate, don't sit in the chair like that!"

Walmart Cookies and Sweatpants

i've been reading a lot of sermons lately, as well as reading a few books, but i've been reading some of my pastor Jean Larroux's sermons online today and while there were so many that were awesome, this one stood above the rest as applicable to me. (one of the interns is spending time faxing the handwritten documents into pdf's, and since i am on the fax receivable list, i get the beauty of having all of his sermons in pdf format.) so bear with me and i try to type his sermons into my blog. thanks to the internet people who made this sermon available for me.
Jan 2002.
Expanding Your Territory by Not Expanding It.
Premise: Most of you do not need to expand your territory, you need to plow the soil you have and as you rightly till the present soil, you will see an expanse you never thought possible.
Background of Text:
Ecclesiastes was written by Solomon and chronicles the meanings and meaninglessness of life. S expanded his territory in wealth, gold, architecture, and agriculture. over and over he cries, this is meaningless.
Ecc 2: 22-25.

22 What does a man get for all the toil and anxious striving with which he labors under the sun? 23 All his days his work is pain and grief; even at night his mind does not rest. This too is meaningless.

24 A man can do nothing better than to eat and drink and find satisfaction in his work. This too, I see, is from the hand of God, 25 for without him, who can eat or find enjoyment?

Question: For without Him who can eat or find enjoyment? A man (or woman) can do nothing better than to eat or drink and find satisfaction in his work (toil, task, calling).
Soak in that for a moment.
A man who could have anything, anyone, any pleasure...says that the key to expanding your territory is NOT expanding it! but the key to expanding your territory is knowing the landowner-His goodness, His provision, His bounty, His calling. "For without Him who can eat or find enjoyment?"

Example: Post Christmas Toy Disposal. (Editor's note: Apparently this is something that families with lots of kids do: clean out the old toys and get rid of them. )
Ever notice when you remove the clutter of 1000 useless happy meal toys that the few toys that are left take on new life?

In a sense as parents we expand the toy territory not by expanding it but by rediscovering what had been there all along. We have the same need today. Not to expand our territory but to rediscover what has been there all along.
Application: I don't want to give you 10 Christian things you can do to be a better wife, a Godly mother, or a Proverbs 31 woman.

I don't want you to start a list of new things but I want you to ask what needs to go in the Hefty bag so you might rediscover what has been there all along.

Solomon says a woman can do nothing better than to eat and drink and find satisfaction in her labor; this, i see, is from the hand of God.

I'm arguing for a rediscovery of the basics, the glory of the mundane, the beauty of the "normal life."
Hal Farnsworth asked the young women in his congregation this question: "Would you rather be married to a man who was gifted to produce 40 fold but worked 80 hours a week to produce 100 fold, or to a man to produce 20 fold and do it to the glory of God?"

Ladies, you know you'd rather have the 20 fold any day of the week! But as I see it you've got a lot of 80 hour work week, 100 fold females among you and it's killing you.

"A woman can do NOTHING better than to eat and drink and find satisfaction in her labor."

After toy cleansing in the Larroux home there was nothing left in my son's room except for Army dress up clothes, legos, and a ball. He rejoiced, played legos all day, and rolled the ball. He was free.

What would it be like to embrace the simplicity of your calling as a woman?
I will be a mother, or, I will be a wife, or a Grandmother, or a woman who rests in the arms of the only man that can fulfill her-Jesus.

There is glorious freedom in that. It's not sinful, it's not wrong. it's the essence of who you are called to be. But it gets lost in all of the other toys, rooms get cluttered, you lose focus. We forget there's nothing better than to eat and drink in God.

Pastorally, let me tell you that this will be costly. It will cost pride, your need of approval, your idolatry of being the superwoman, and your reputation.

That means the highly developed palettes of the kindergarten Christmas party might have to have cookies from Walmart instead of the "I'm the perfectmarthastewartgingerbreadfrostingcookies" . Doesn't it kill you that they always eat the frosted, Walmart ones first anyway, and that mom comes to the party in her Christmas sweatpants?

It is your pride that says, love me, accept me, adore me for what i do, rather than what i am in Christ!
Ask a child if they'd rather have a mother resting in Christ, serving the walmart cookies or a supermom who slips into Christmas depression because the Kindergarten Gazette only gave her cookies 2.5 stars?

The debate of the Walmart cookies versus the Martha Stewart cookies it this: This is about knowing you are okay because of Christ Jesus, not because of your cooking, your dress size, waistline, or hips. Your worth and value is to be found in Christ alone. Jesus is the end of the struggle for you. Rest in that.

So what am I saying? There is no territory to be expanded; it's right under your nose. Don't rush through carpool to get to your day: Carpool IS your day. If you've gone from the beauty shop to the dress shop to grocery shopping all to arrive at home exhausted to a husband that you did it all for... skip it. put on sweatpants, put your hair up. he's told you for years he likes your hair up. LIVE!!!!

I invite you to skip luncheons, community Bible study, MOPS, Women AGlow, or the 1000 other "good things" to enjoy the best: Your Heavenly Father.

Whenever I start chunking toys, my wife goes through the bags. She touts the virtues of each discarded item.. the truth is they cloud the kids' abilities to focus on the best toys.
don't hear me saying shopping is evil, Bible study is bad, or you shouldn't cook. but what is Best?

Might you have been missing what is best by expanding your territory? You've seen the supermom. She attends her 3rd bible study for the week after small groups, she has accountability time, she's in junior league, plays tennis, just gave a great interview to the local magazine on "the joys of being a stay at home mom". it is death!
If God is on the throne, and HE IS THERE, then there is glory to be found in every laundry hamper, every sock he didn't pick up, every errand you do for your family, every problem you solve, every child you pick up, the tests you help study for, every friend you laugh and cry with.

Paul said it in Corinthians. Whatever you eat or drink or do, do it all to the glory of God. But Solomon said it first!
Hit the eject button, put on the brakes. Let them talk.
Jean writes, I'm learning this today. Last night I needed to write this sermon, and my 5 year old daughter had kindergarten homework she needed help with. 10 page books, with 8 words to a page. It took us 35 minutes to read.
Do you know what i wanted? I wanted her to hurry up so I could work on a sermon encouraging others not to hurry up. I had my eyes set on expanding my territory because I am a very important person and I had a very important sermon to write.

But the territory to be expanded was a 10 page book with 8 words to a page with a much smaller woman from the church.

Ladies, I encourage you to choose what is best, don't settle for good, but to expand your territory this year by not expanding it.

i woke up today hoarse, hurting, and yucky. i'd been trying to not have to take my allergy medicine, but a trip to the doctor this morning let me know that a) i need to take my allergy meds, 2) i had to get a cortisone shot, 3) i needed a z pack to get back on my feet. i've been in a benadryl haze all day but that shall soon be over. last week he told me to try over the counter stuff but that did not cut the mustard.
i did some babysitting today. not for kate, but for a friend's kids, and they were really sweet. the only hard part was when the two girls wanted to help me put kate to bed, but when i went in the kitchen to chat with their mom (my friend) they heard kate crying, shortly after i put her in bed, so they went to assist. they sang to her, held her, helped her......but they did not know about my Andy Chapman policy of not going back in there after she's been put to bed. she has been part of this school of thought since she was 3 months old-sleeping through the night at that nice age and we rarely have to even go in there in the night unless there is mega emergency-poop or vomit. and i think that has only happened about 4 times. we can put her to bed at 645 pm, give her a blankie, cup, nunu, mobile playing, music, and we are out of there. tonight, however, was hellacious. the madness lasted an hour, because i did not know where the kids were-i thought they were back in my bedroom watching hannah montana but then i found out they were in kate's room, and at 745 she was still awake, crying, wanting mommy. i went in there, and she was so excited to see me. i held her, rocked her, and she immediately started falling asleep (since it was past her bedtime). she went to sleep shortly after and i will not go back in there until 8 am, God willing and the diaper don't rise.
it was very hard to train myself to obey Andy's teaching, but he is very wise, having 3 younger sisters and being the middle child. the only living beings i have assisted in their lives are a few cats and dogs, all of whom are now dead. (not by my doings.) those are the joys of being an only child-making friends with broomsticks, cleaning for fun, and sleeping early.
i hope that this allergy junk goes away and that tomorrow will be a better day. i'm also still struggling with depression, trying to figure out the correct medicine, and still feeling funky. not funky in a good way. i just never feel like getting out of the house, i feel like all i should do is stay home and work. i felt like this right after i had kate, so i know that i can feel better, i just have to get back to that spot.
andy was so sweet to me to bring lunch to me at home today while kate was at school and we had a nice time before he had to head out of town for a few days. i am thankful that he had the time to do that and i loved it. he is a good hubby.
he is a hard worker and he very rarely rests.

it was rainy, hot dark yet bright blue was shining through. one side of the house was bright and shiny, while the other was thunderstormy. just like life.

today was a good one. i had my solar nails removed and went back to the ones God gave me. hello, old friends. i'm thankful that i can now type quietly, and actually put on my necklaces by myself again. those things were cute but a pain. too high maintenance, even for me. pedicure and manicure were VERY cheap. i am rocking out a very hot pink on the toes.
spent this afternoon searching for a creative resolve. i was ahead on my chores, kate was at school at "water fun day", and i had time. i shopped the local artist venues to get some inspiration....baby swanky, swanky girl, and swanky wedding are mere distractions from my usual creative ventures: dressing kate and myself in something noncomformist, styling my new rock star hairdo, loading a new purse for the day ( i change almost 3 times per week), and thinking of how to redecorate my house with things i already own, rearranging things, or finding things in nature. i found a piece of tin roofing on the beach last week, and i think it would be a fun thing to paint. i drove around looking for random things as debris (you can find some good things here; one time i found a bedpost and it's really cute) but found nothing today. i felt a strong urge to create something but all i could do was rearrange my dining room table doodlebops. i'm happier with it.
i cooked a mean supper tonight-spaghetti with whole wheat noodies (that is a more fun word that noodles), sauteed green beans, and mozzarella breadsticks. kate did some fabulous moves in the bathtub tonight-i handed a washcloth over and she started to scrub herself....what? i am usually doing that.
"kate, scrub your feet!" she did it. "Kate scrub your nose!" she did it. she did every body part. i think she is a genius. she bathed herself, helped me clean up, it is so amazing to be around her. i usually read her about 15 minutes of books each night, but andy wanted to read tonight, so i sadly handed over my favorite part of the day, where she sits still, smells so good, and reads with me. he emerged from her room after about 2 minutes, and i said, uh did you read her anything? he said, she got up walked to her bed and said "night night". well that is just amazing. i think she could probably drive the car next week.
work is weird lately, but good. it hasn't been too busy.
laundry is waiting on me so i better close. big thank yous and kisses to susan and theresa for good talks today. andy, too. :-)

sometimes what you have planned for your day never happens, sometimes it does. i never know what's going to happen but i wake up wondering.
had a rough night last night, nightmares, sleeplessness, but the morning brought some good sleep. since i am nocturnal that is not a surprise. running errands proved to be monotonous, but fulfilling. nice chat with hubby at the mockingbird apres lunch, not too much fun was had at the grocery store but it was needed, and then home with kate and hubby. kate played very well by herself, came to me for some approval and some interaction, which i was glad to give. she let me give her a bath with no complaints. she cleaned up all her toys and books with a kind heart and no complaints. i even saved emptying the dishwasher for her to come home, which she gladly assisted. what an amazing girl. she even brushed teeth with that fabulous napoleon dynamite toothbrush with a SMILE.
and to bed without a peep. i detailed both cars this evening, which i enjoy doing because i like to see the finished product, and andy and i ventured to the mockingbird this evening for some famous mockingburgers and a wonderful babysitter at home. great food, more great conversation, and a few trains to go by this evening.
i love being with andy and i love our time together. i love that we both can make mistakes and we can both come to each other for renewal and forgiveness. what a picture of Christ. he is so good to me.
i was happy to do babysitter's laundry as she headed to the beach to hang with some of her friends. a small price to pay for some good convos with hubby.
had a good time last night listening to the sweet sounds of the acoustic andy chapman. he headlined at clyde's last night and the crowd was at least 50 strong by my count. andy was on his a game and his songs were great. the bugs were not biting too much, the breeze was blowing, and the atmosphere was pretty chill. i was so proud of him! i can tell this was the first of many concerts in the Bay.
major even this week was my haircut yesterday. i've been pondering it for many days now and i felt that i needed to go for it. it was a good move, i think. it was so easy to fix today. i have really fine, thin hair that is best suited for a ponytail or something boring, but not anymore! my naturally wavy hair is thanking me for some fun. the closest photo i could find was the one of victoria beckham, "posh spice" for you children of the 80's.
it is quite dramatic, the shortest haircut i've had in my whole life, but i'm slowly okay with it. it was a shock, it was my decision, but it's very good. it's definitely getting a reaction!
it has been SO HOT lately. i enjoy my house, the refuge it brings. it is so comfortable and i am so thankful for it.
i watched a very neat show about how the mail works. i never really knew how it works, but it is amazing. i want to write more mail just because it is so neat. my tv was stuck on discovery channel this afternoon and i felt more intelligent at the end.

i need a manicure, a pedicure, a hairstyle. there is nothing on tv to watch. andy is working and it is one of those boring summer nights. there is a thunderstorm outside so i'm praying for the electricity to stay on as well as the internet.
i spent the morning dealing with junk at work, but the afternoon went much better. i took some time to drive around a fellow lagniappe friend that is in town from glasgow, scotland. his name is roddy mackay and he is so neat. he is gentle and kind and a wonderful photographer. since he is here in the states, and he doesn't have a driver's license, i provided the services of a beat up, 92 honda accord with a full tank of gas and my almost professional driving skills. (ha.) he told me he wanted to film people, so i had to think of a) whom we could photograph, b) whom we could find. first stop was lane shaw. lane is a friend of lagniappe, a recipient of a katrina cottage, legally blind but fully active. i knew she would be adorable on film. i have known lane through andy for several months now. we even took her on our mother's day lunch to the fabulous restaurant in diamondhead where we had reservations since my mom cancelled, and we had fun with lane. for the first time, i heard her katrina story. she is probably in her late 60s, has no family here in the bay but scattered across new england. she rode out the storm with an 82 year old elderly woman in their upstairs bathroom, and almost lost her arm thanks to a flying roof. yes, a roof landed on her arm.
she said, "it's a miracle that i'm even here" and i truly agree with her. she went from a 2800 square foot home to a 280 foot cottage, but she couldn't be happier. she lives with her 17 year old guide dog, kai, and she is so sweet.
we then made our way to old town bsl to interview some business owners. he met several folks, listened to their stories. also, another first, i heard the story of carrie estapa, and about how she and her husband did evacuate but returned to their town to find his grandparents dead in the street. i had no idea.
also listened to some other folks that love to tell their stories, love to talk. lately, i have been so sick of hearing about katrina. it's on the news every day. "20 months following katrina, and folks still need help." well no duh we all know that here. it's in the paper, it's everywhere. i just want some normality here sometimes, and it is yet to be found. but today i remembered why it is still a hot topic, because it affected so many folks. and it changed them, it hurt them, it killed some of them. and i felt foolish for being so selfish.
i dropped roddy at the coffee shop and then picked up kate and headed home.
she was a lot of fun, smearing ravioli across her face, and then we played with some boxes. toothbrush time is still a fight, so i thought that the new singing napoleon dynamite toothbrush would help, and yes it did. (it only plays music when you brush) and she loved it. i still didn't get a thorough brush but it was close.
she is trying so hard to say new words. now if we say "you ready to roll?" she says "Roll!". well it sounds more like wooollll.
i am now working on the survey that kate's daycare sent home today. it's anonymous, so i'm ready to let them know how i feel. there is lots of room for improvement, and buddy i can tell them just what to do. (since i am a first time mom of a 21 month old. well at least i know what they can START to do.)
also i am working on not interrupting, being positive, open and direct communication. those may sound easy, but i challenge you to try them with me! i like doing all those things, i just wish they came more naturally.
better go it's still lightning.

God is showing me lots of my sin, for that I am thankful but I am tired of it.

highlights of this week. thankfully andy took kate to the doctor, so i was spared the torture of waiting rooms, waiting on doctors, cranky nurses, etc. in fact they were in and out quickly and all was well with kate. that's so great! she is taking some samples of singulair so that should clear up the cough and runny nose.
i think andy has worked harder this week than ever. i am so thankful that he has such a good work ethic and he has wonderful people skills. i am sending him on a deep sea fishing adventure with the guys for father's day, so i hope it is so wonderful for him. he is such a great, caring father and he deserves a break! i hope the fish are biting, the sun isn't too hot, the breeze is just right, and the waves are perfect. oh and that the captain is not a jerk.
the beach was a lot of fun yesterday. i finished my work early, as i have been working very hard all week, and was able to take an afternoon off. i ventured to the beach with susan and it was so sunny and cool. waves were rolling (which is not normal) and it was just right.
i've been getting up extra early this week to help get my family ready for work and school, and today we all accidentally woke up 1 hour early, as we thought it was actually 1hour later. it was like daylight savings time or something.
i am not digging my haircut. it is proving to be harder to style than i anticipated so i opt for a ponytail. that was not the goal but maybe i can get used to it soon. it either needs to be shorter or longer-it's an awkward length. boo. but i love the color(s).
i am thankful that i was able to work from home today as well as catch up on some sermons and some book reading. i felt especially encouraged. i'm reading that love languages book by gary chapman (no relation) which i think is now on sale at Dollar Tree. it's a good book, though. i'm excited to read the rest of it.
poor paris hilton. i feel very sorry for her-i know she is sad, and she needs someone to love her. same for lindsay lohan, and about 1000 other celebrities.
this is my latest endeavor of decorating. since we still have mold in our attic from Katrina, we have to have a clean air machine running, as well as 2 dehumidifiers. well you know that those are not cute or chic. so i had to make it cute. i tried to shabby chic the setup with some pillows, pictures of kate, and really you can't notice the big clean air machine unless you really look for it. at least that's what i keep telling myself.
the custom fabric for the bench was made for the nursery (green gingham, which matches the living room) but i moved it out here. so that's my clean air foyer.

this is a fun, colorful picture for me. it's my favorite cake stand, with my 3 favorite cookbooks (which are all fun colors.) Miss Mississippi Cooks, Deep South Parties by Robert St John, and Being Dead is No Excuse by Gayden Metcalfe, which is the home of my famous "Liketa Died Potatoes". Throw in my Gail Pittman and some Peter's Pottery and I'm a good southern girl. (that's kate's medicine stored in my g.p.)


my funky dining room table for summer. my peter's pottery, some ugly green candles ( wish i had some hot pink or some red ones...ooh or orange) and an iron candleabra. i do like the cowprint.










this is one of my favorite creative things. i have some willow branches on my bathroom counter, and i decided to hang my silver/gold necklaces from them. it's actually easier for me to find them now that they are not tangled. it also makes for a piece of art, so i like it.











my big frame that andy gave me 2 years ago from kosciusko....i love that frame. one of my favo pictures of kt. she's doing a belly laugh.

washed sheets, cleaned kitchen, worked at lagniappe all morning, supervised staff meeting since jean was out of town, went to beach, got car stuck, called for help, help got his truck stuck, everyone was finally unstuck.
finished laundry, cleaned out 3 closets, finished emails, played with kate, grocery shopped, straightened hair.
and that was all today.
there was a big thunderstorm here today so i was on the phone with the cable/internet people 3 separate times today....but we are all online now so that's good.
i had a good visit with my mom. i think that is because someone was praying. she had a great time, and left yesterday.
last night we hosted all 14 interns, with the help of john and lynne sabin. we cooked some fabulous food, including grilled meat and veggies, and the biggest hash brown casserole i've ever seen or made. it was great. to heighten the festivities, the cops were called to the house next door. 6 cops cars arrived to arrest someone for drug activity next door, which i'm glad about because they need to shut that shack down. they are going to start doing surveillance. finally. it was exciting though because i thought it was because we had lots of cars parked on the street.
well andy and i took my mom to the touristy places here-rickey's restaurant (a local favorite that we've only been to a few times,) the beach, second saturday (open house for all downtown vendors.) andy ended up playing guitar later on that night at the mockingbird cafe with david maley but my mom didn't want to take care of kate by herself so i went home with her. sorry that i missed that. i think he had a great time. more famous by the days!
sunday we went to lagniappe for church and then to a yummy lunch at the casino in town.
although she did bring her daschund gracie, it was an okay time. she did SO much help around the house. it made me realize where i got my work ethic. she did my laundry, dishes, cleaned some really dirty spots, and finally i had to make her relax.
i admire her work ethic.
tomorrow kate and i will venture to the doctor because she still has a croupy cough, and i want it to go away. she's also been fussy lately, and i think it's either teething or an earache. i hope it's the teething.
chao.

renegade craft fair would be so up my alley. someone buy me a ticket! the website is so tasty and swanky.

today i did a lot of interrupting and a lot of recognition of said problem. i even recognized when other folks interrupted me! (i didn't tell them, though.) i did pretty well at listening. i could consciously feel myself keeping my mouth from opening and waiting to ask a question.
it goes much better that way. really. it's a good plan.
i worked the front desk today at my work, which by the way, my work is at ground zero of the nation's worst natural disaster. we provide help to people, and still almost 2 years after the storm, people are coming in that have not received any help. it may sound like FEMA gave everyone some money, did a lot of helping, but all my interviews today did not look good on the part of FEMA.
clients came in with medical problems, mold problems (i can relate!), housing issues, etc etc etc. phone kept ringing.
the thing that most people say when they come in is "i heard you help people." i say, "Yes we do and i hope we can help you." they heave a big sigh of relief....
and then i'm sighing because i hope we can help them soon! we have about 700 folks on our waiting list.
so, i worked my ass off but i'm glad to do it. i went home to rest before i picked up kate, met my husband at the back door for the evening, and i couldn't rest. errands, i forgot junk at lagniappe so i had to go back again, post office twice, and then....a fun time. i picked up kate, and took her for a haircut. her first real big girl haircut. it was so great. i missed her first one since i was sick in bed, but this was awesome. she sat in my lap, was tired, so she was very very quiet, which is not like her. she got a graduated bob, and it is so precious. it's a bit uneven but i can understand because she did not like wearing the fish cover up to keep the hair from her clothing. she felt trapped. but she is so freakin cute that i hope to post a picture soon-except our camera is broken.
connie, kate and andy's stylist, was worried that andy would think it was too short, so she spiced it up with an orange bow but he loved it. (i think. he said he did.)
went for mexican with andy and we invited a crew but 1 showed up-my keri norwood. it was perfect. i know she felt like the 3rd wheel but i guarantee you, we are used to having people out with us so it was natural for us. we enjoyed her. a brand new mariachi band played, and can you believe it-they played "margaritaville" for our table. in english, at that.
i let rosie in tonight, cared nothing for the shedding. she is now outside barking. i haven't even vacuumed yet. progress!
my conversation at lunch today: why is it so cheap/easy to adopt a dog, but so hard/expensive to adopt a child? i know that a human life is way more valuable than a doggie life, but there are so many folks that can adopt but there is such a huge expense involved. (sometimes.)
i propose some reform in that area. if you can get a dog in waveland, ms for $65 bucks, and they even microchip the dog, then kids that have loving adoptive parents should have better access.
another area of reform-i watched oprah today, something i do in spurts since i dislike her so much. anyway, she had a documentary that i tivoed about michael moore, the controversial filmmaker. he did a documentary about health care, and it really struck me. i have always been a big opponent of health insurance, as it is extremely expensive, wasteful, overpriced, overpaperworked, crap. it never covers what it should, and it takes a large portion of my paycheck. (i do not get health benefits.) thanks to such, i haven't been to the dentist in a while (which i love doing) nor has andy. andy has been to the doctor 1 time since we've been married. what a blessing. kate has been many times, since they require it.
anyway, michael moore reports that america comes in 36th in line in the whole world in health care. 36th! are there even 36 countries in the world? (kidding.) shouldn't we be first? shouldn't it be free, like firefighters, police, 911 are?
i digress. it angers me.
well the hair dilemma shall be solved saturday at 1230 central standard time. we'll see what my girl shannon can come up with for me.
oh, and my mom is coming tomorrow. the last time she came was horrible. may God never take me through that again. i need a good visit with her.

so i have a really bad thing that i do. and it's not even that fun. andy says it is compulsion and i think it might be. i clean when i want to destress. funny, though, one of the contestants in junior miss this past weekend had "Cleaning" down as a hobby. i asked her about this, she said she did it when she was stressed, and that the night before junior miss she cleaned her bathroom. it was so nice to meet someone else with my addiction.
i will vacuum, scrub, dust, wipe, mop, reorganize. it's really nice for the home but it wears me out. i need to think of another way to relax.
feeding the frenzy is the new vacuum that andy brought home for me. i'm excited to use it.
i have always been a neat, clean person. neither of my parents are, except my dad has a fear of dirt. when it rains, he goes outside, sometimes even while it is still raining, and takes a water hose and washes the driveway. he's weird about things like that but he would never scrub a sink.
i think maybe what i take away from that is a fear of being dirty since he didn't like it. now that i have my own home i run a very tight ship. it's a control issue-it's something that i can control and it's something that i do very well. i think that God is a God of order and that He is honored when I am serving Him by taking care of what He has entrusted me. but when I clean to the extreme, that's not really what He cares about. so i need to find the fine line between Pigpen from Peanuts comics and Martha Stewart.
It's hard, though, because I want to teach Kate how to take care of things. She did sweep today (read: drag the broom around) so that really excited me. When she saw me using the broom, she started saying "Mine mine mine" which means she just wanted what i had.
but i was cleaning up her mess so it was really funny.
of course i learned a lot today about myself thanks to charlotte, my counselor. i'm going to refer to her as c dawg because that sounds better than charlotte my personal growth facilitator. so c dawg was really nice, sweet, and helpful. by no means did she appear to have it all together, she just seemed like she knew what was up. humble. i'm excited to learn more about why i do the things i do, and to be able to work on the things that i do not need to do.
today's big realization: i am a huge interrupter. i crave information, i want to know so much about things, that i really interrupt people. c dawg said it is driven by fear, because i don't want to be left out. 100 percent correct. but i am going to try to actively not interrupt. i tried it at lunch with andy today and he could tell it was hard for me. i'm just glad to realize what i did wrong so that i can try to fix it.
after he told a story, he said, "Do you have any questions?" I said "Yes i have 3!" But i really had about 6 but it went much better when i asked them at the end.
it's weird, because i get very frustrated with my mom because she constantly interrupts me, so i know what andy is feeling.
c dawg also said i had a lot of baggage to unpack. duh. this i know. she will help me, she says. i'm so glad. that's why i blog-i don't have to clean if i blog and i can unpack my day.
i am conquering some of my cleaning fears as i type. i let rosie the dog come inside. she is loving it and she is shedding all over the place. shed it up rosie. i'm gonna vacuum that in a little while but for now i am going to let her live her life as messy as it is. me, too.

1. kate broke the y key on my keyboard. i can use it but there is no button so that is weird.
   
2. i worked the front desk at lagniappe the past 2 mornings, and it was great but busy. i have met all sorts of folks, from abused women to people who need a deck built. we don't really build decks, we build homes, but at least he came for some help.
   
3. i love keri norwood, the newest lagniappe staff member. she has been here for 3 days from jackson, ms and i can't wait to get to know her better.
   
4. i need an exciting haircut. open to suggestions.
5. andy and a friend played guitar over here tonight, and it was quite entertaining. fun to sing and hear them play. 2 very talented folks.
6. kate had a fever today of 101 and was sent home from school. she messed up her clothes so they sent her home in some boy clothes, and that was so strange! i took them off as soon as we got home. bless her heart she took a good nap and then laid on the couch with me for 45 minutes. now if any of you know kate, you know that is not like her. she is a moving action girl and cannot sit still, so it was heaven for me to get to cuddle her for so long, but it hurt me because i knew she did not feel good. i think the issue is teething. i gave her some medicine and i pray that she is okay. . haven't heard her peep for a while now since bedtime but she did not go down easily.
7. big problemo. my vacuum, all of 1 month old, is dead. it is not sucking. it sucks, not literally. i need a new one. any suggestions welcome. this is major for me since i am such a neat freak.
8. i cooked some really awful veggies tonight. i tried to sautee some squash in some butter, since i was out of olive oil, and i do not suggest doing so. it was so bad the dog had to eat it.
9. tomorrow is our first session with a counselor. i am so excited to have some input on how to communicate better with andy. all prayers welcome.
10. i am trying to swear off fast food for the month of june. so far so good, but it's only the 6th.
11. my mom continues to be a problem for me. i can't make her love me but i try, and she is happy loving herself and no one else.
12. grocery shopping plus kate plus a hungry tummy on her part equals chaos! i do not recommend it. by the time we checked out most of the groceries had been opened by her.
13. june in bay st louis is really hot. i don't like it but i'm thankful for air conditioning.

junior miss

i could not have been more proud of these girls if i had been with them throughout the pageant. i judged a junior miss program in marshall county, alabama, this past weekend (south of huntsville) and it was a great time. i really didn't know what to expect, but it surpassed my expectations. i learned a lot about self esteem as well as what really matters-my whole thought throughout the process was that i did not want this program to define their identities. win or lose they were all great. i know it sounds cheesy but really they were all great and did not need a fancy dress and makeup to feel that way.
there were 4 other judges and i don't think they really respected my opinion until the emcee read my biography during the program. after doing so, one of the judges next to me was really impressed and he remarked that he valued my opinion even more during the judge deliberation due to my experiences with piano and music. i felt really smart!
but that's where i was falling into the "pageant mentality". i shouldn't need another judge's opinion of me to define me. but i did let it. and i shouldn't have.
i worked at the front desk at lagniappe today, and i enjoyed hanging out with erin, an intern from tuscaloosa. she's really fun. i was busy with the phone and with walkins and visitors, but it was great.
staff meeting tomorrow, a little bit of cleaning up left for tonight.
funny stuff about the democratic debate last night on the daily show tonight. i'd much rather watch news recapped on comedy central than actually watch it.

vacation is over.

it's good to be home from vacation. it's been quite a week, but i'm living through it. kate didn't give me quite the reaction i wanted when i got home. (picturing soft music, kate running towards me in slow motion with arms wide open for a hug, then a huge kiss) but more of a "ah." that's all she said. but she has enjoyed my being home.
tuesday was spent at staff meeting, returning lots of voice mails, and i also took kate to andy's cabbage ball game. don't ask me what cabbage ball is, all i know is that it's a really big ball, bigger than softball, and you don't need gloves. i do know that kate did not enjoy it because it was past her bedtime, but i did satisfy andy with some biscuits from popeyes when he got home from his game.
wednesday i ran the front desk at lagniappe, which was hard and busy. i met some homeless people, some hurricane victims, and did my best to get some help for them. andy and i took kate to lane shaw's home for dinner, which involved me chasing after kate while she pushed the stroller. she is so busy these days, that there is no relaxing involved during her waking hours. those of you with babies that still sit in a rear-facing car seat, enjoy!
thursday i headed to the big city of gulfport, ms for my first trial as a special master, which is where i am working in a court case as a novice mediator, something that i've done before. i enjoyed the hearing and i can definitely see a future for me in something like court reporting. i was very captivated and even took notes. i can't discuss the case but i'm glad to help out.
i also visited barnes and noble, where i shopped, browsed. as i passed the bargain table, i saw the book "don't sweat the small stuff" and remembered that the author of such book passed away 2 years ago of a heart attack. what irony. i still can't get over it. i think he was 47.
friday i spent working around the house, and then andy and i had a set of friends babysit, so we were able to get out of the house for the 1st time since march. we went across the st louis bay bridge over to the pass where we looked at boats, then back to daniel's in bsl for dinner and to listen to one of my favorite bands, easy street. i know i've mentioned them here before but i was so happy to find out they were playing that night. it was lots of fun. i had some wing wang woo's with my friend tina and then we headed home.
saturday i took kate to lagniappe so that we could have lunch with the group of volunteers from brookhaven, and it was great to chat with them about lagniappe and the bay. i am always so encouraged to see the teams from brookhaven, because it reminds me of the wonderful church i grew up in.
that afternoon we played at home and then went to the beach with amanda, susan, and crew. it was great. i love going to the beach. kate did pretty well and andy fished.
later we headed out for another favorite band, dr zarr and the amazing funk monster. we had a great time, and it was probably my 5th time to see them, but it was the best. so much fun. i am so glad we went!
sunday was another day of the memorial day weekend, and andy went to church while i rested with kate. we had a long naptime, which is always good on sundays.
monday andy worked lots of the day, but was able to come home to take kate and me to the beach for a long afternoon. it was kate's longest day at the beach, and she had SUCH fun riding floats, building sandcastles with amanda, running around, and swimming. although our car broke down, it was out of the shop today, which was very quick. i was so tired after the whole day that i went to sleep at 8 pm.
today we worked worked worked and now we are ready to sleep. but i haven't blogged in so long that i had to catch up.
so you haven't missed too much!

Here are my vacation photos. I've tanned, I've relaxed, I spent time at the pool, the beach, shopping, walking, resting, working just a little, not cleaning, sleeping, trying to find some seafood that i can't get in bay st louis, and i went to the spa. massages, facials, french body polish-i'm in heaven. i think that Heaven is in Fairhope, Al, and i know that God probably put Adam and Eve here when he started out, because this is the best, most beautiful, most relaxing place I know.
i really miss andy and kate, and the phone calls are not enough, but i have to take this time to rest before i go back to work and i am faced with the hard things that the residents of Bay St Louis/Waveland have to go through. I wish i could bring everyone with me here!
Highlights thus far (I still have 2 days left)

1. The spa, hands down.
2. The beautiful, sunny, 70 degree weather that has a strong breeze.
3. Living 30 feet from a gourmet grocery store.
4. Sleeping in a cold room.
5. Eating whatever whenever.
6. Laying by the pool without worrying about a babysitter.
7. Placing 8th in a texas hold em tournament out of 35 people! (men underestimate a sober woman.)
8. The sunshine.
9. Shopping in downtown Fairhope.
   
10. Catching up on Season finales online.

Bad parts so far.

1. This town is expensive.
2. Internet connection goes in and out.
3. Living downtown means live music outside. It's loud.
4. No dishwasher.
5. Sand on my cell phones.
6. Have to drive far to get some good food.
7. This town is expensive.
8. My family or friends are not here, so I have no one to talk to.

The good outweighs the bad, so that's good. I'm off for more relaxing and not blogging!

pray for the Bay

Dear <>,
I want to start by thanking you for your dedication to pray for us. We covet your prayers and we can't go on without them. So, thank you for that.
I just wanted to write and give you an update on what's been going on at Lagniappe.
Last week, we hosted the men of the Grace Presbytery and it was fabulous! we served them a meal of grilled catfish with crawfish sauce, asparagus, salad, garlic bread, etoufee, bread pudding. It was tasty and the worship and prayers and meetings were also great.
This week, Lagniappe is closed. The staff is taking this week off so that we can rest and regroup before the summer begins, and we are going full speed ahead restoring homes with our volunteers on the coast. each staff member is traveling, so please pray for traveling mercies. some are on planes, some in cars, all are in need of rest and spending time with Jesus. i am leaving tomorrow for Fairhope, AL for a vacation by myself! please pray for me, because this will be the longest i've been away from my daughter, but i am trusting that Jesus will protect her better than i can. (Doesn't He always?) my friends and family have been urging me to take this rest, and i am going to try.
kate, andy and I have recovered from our health issues, thanks to the good grace of God and your prayers. currently, we haven't treated the mold but are in a decision stage. we are running 2 dehumidifiers constantly, as well as an ozone machine. it's loud, but we feel better. kate has been teething this week, so she's been in pain but she's okay.
at chapel service at lagniappe this past sunday, we only had 2 staff members there (Jean and me) but we had 19 folks from the community attend. that is a great blessing, and we are thankful for what God is doing here in the Bay.
recovery-wise, i am seeing a few less fema trailers, but we have 800 people on our waiting list for work orders and home builds. it would be so frustrating to be 1 of the 800 people that is waiting for some help, some relief. since currently we do not have anyone running the front desk, i have started doing that as i can, and last monday was my first time. i met 3 different folks, each with a story that was sad yet true. the first family, a 59 year old disabled mom who is living in a trailer with her 39 year old mentally retarded daughter. they make 600 dollars a month each, and they do not have a home or the means to have one. they were renting-to-own a trailer when Katrina hit, and they lost that. they need some relief!
my heart is too sensitive to work the desk on a daily basis, so i am thankful for Becky and Carol and Helen that hear these stories on a daily basis. may we pray for strength for them to not become jaded to the stories that never end.
may we pray for jean and curt, as they lead our church, that they may have rest and strength for each day here in the Bay.
a praise-This thursday, the Bay bridge will reopen. The town is having a huge ceremony and party to celebrate. Jean will be part of the ceremony.
We are also thankful for Ryan Kalberkamp, a new staff member that will be working on the "Wayland to Waveland" project. There is a contractor in Massachusetts that wants to rebuild 10 homes in waveland, and ryan will be the liason with them that will get things done.
thanks be to God! may He continue to bless us and refresh us each day.
thanks for your prayers.
Cammie

google

what happens when you google yourself?
here's what i found.
http://findarticles.com/p/articles/mi_go1584/is_200311/ai_n5983491

that was for cammie britt.

i've enabled comments, so please leave me one if you read my blog! i didn't know this function wasn't working, but now it is.

andy left us today. he had to go away on business and he will be back on wednesday, God willing. when he returns, i will not be home. this week, Lagniappe has designated vacation. that means we are closed to teams and we all must take some kind of vacation so that we can return to work refreshed. whenever we've closed before, i'm usually the one that can't get away, being that i live here, have a family, etc. but this time, my husband graciously suggested that i get away, too.
he found a great place for me to stay in my favorite town in the world-fairhope, al. (south of mobile) that is the home of the grand hotel, which is a place very dear to my heart. my grandmother went there on her honeymoon, i went there on mine, and have been back several times on several happy occasions.
i can't wait to go. but i feel so guilty to go on vacation and leave my family at home. i have never been on vacation by myself-i am not sure how it will go, but i know it will be fine. i will really miss andy and kate!!!!
i am going to start my time with a massage at the grand hotel, which is a great plan. when you have a spa treatment, you can spend time there all day, by the pool, or in the quiet room. i never have enjoyed the quiet room so much as when i've gone since i had kate. it is completely quiet. candles, robes, chaise lounges, champagne, silence. it's even too dark in there to read. all you can do is relax. the last time i went, i enjoyed it, but i got bored after being in there for an hour.
i plan to get to fairhope wednesday morning, check in, and relax. i am praying that kate will do well at school that day. she's been at home today with a teething fever, and she did NOT feel good. i hope she can feel well enough to go so that her daddy can pick her up wednesday.
thursday i think i will head down to seaside, fl to relax and check out some white sand and surf. friday i have a pedicure scheduled back at the grand hotel, so i'll be there all day.
saturday and sunday will probably be spent in gulf shores, a mere 30 minutes from fairhope. working on my tan is top priority, as well as seeing some pretty waves.
i feel so guilty for going on this selfish vacation because i know i should be home serving my family. i have left notes on the fridge for andy to remember to take care of things on certain days-feeding rosie, taking out trash, etc.
i know at the end of the trip i will be very ready to get home....but i am going to try to relax, not think about work, which is constant, and try to rest.
someone told me that if i go, i can be a better mommy, and i do believe that.
i just love my family so much, and i am such a home body, i love being at home and i love taking care of my family.
we'll see how it goes!

what a swanky mother's day. i loved it. we went to church all together, we put kate in the nursery, andy played guitar and it was great, and the sermon was about loving others, and i needed to hear it. i am so bad at loving others because i love myself so much. but i am going to grow. we had a reservation at p'zazz in diamondhead, prompted by my mother's visit, but since she didn't want to come, we kept our reservation, and took lane shaw with us. lane is a lagniappe church attender, someone that andy met at a coffee ship in town and invited to church, and he takes good care of her. she is somewhat handicapped as she is legally blind, has a guide dog, but she gets around. she cannot drive.
we took her to lunch with us and it was fun. kate managed to get my nice shirt messy but that is expected. the food was delicious and they gave all the ladies a rose. we had salad, fruit, stuffed pork loin, stuffed flounder, ham, rice, green beans, scalloped potatoes, zuccini and squash, bread, pasta, etc.
we spent the afternoon taking fantastic naps, and i slept so hard that i thought it was nighttime. i woke up, took kate to walmart, and we shopped for groceries.
tonight kate did not feel good, and she had a fever of 101.3. that's pretty high for a little girl. she did not feel good at all, and she cuddled a lot. that made us know that she didn't feel good.
we gave her some tylenol, and she went right to bed very happily. i hope she is just teething.
andy cooked a great dinner of grilled catfish, shrimp, crabcakes, baked potato, french bread, and cole slaw. it was even yummier than lunch.
of course we called our moms and now we are ready to go to sleep again.
happy mother's day! i know mine was very fun and tasty. i got a great card from andy and kate full of photos and captions that he made, and it was the best ever.

musings on motherhood

tomorrow is mother's day. that is a day that we take to think about the mothers in our lives. i remember 2 years ago on mothers day was the first time that i felt kate kick me in my tummy. that was a good day for that. it was amazing. we were on vacation in gulf shores, and i was lying down for a nap, and i felt those butterflies that every pregnant woman talks about, meaning that the baby is kicking. she was saying, happy mother's day!
last year, we went to kosciusko, ms to hear jean larroux preach (our pastor) and helped raise support for lagniappe. my mom drove up there, and it was bittersweet. we put kate in the nursery, and they gave us a beeper in case she needed us. it was fabulous-they didn't even beep us. we heard a great sermon from jean, and we loved meeting the folks from kosciusko.
for the past 3 weeks, my mom has been saying she was coming here for mother's day. i had everything all planned out-i had a mother/daughter makeover planned for us today at 1 pm, made reservations at a swanky restaurant for us tomorrow for 11 am after church, and had her lined up to babysit for us like all good grandmothers do.
mom was supposed to arrive on friday. friday morning she called and said she hadn't been to the bank yet or packed, so she couldn't come until saturday. saturday morning she called and said she didn't think she could make it today. so i called and cancelled our makeover. she called saturday afternoon to say she would make it in time for sunday afternoon, no lunch. she called 1 hour later to say she wasn't coming at all.
andy called and talked to her today, and she wanted us to meet her halfway so that she could have a picnic with us for thirty minutes. this means we would each drive 1.5 hours there, then 1.5 hours home. that makes no sense, since we live 3 hours from each other. i personally could not have fun in the car with kate for that long, or do i want to waste my day in the car.
so yes, it sucks that my mom made plans and then decided not to come. it seems like she would love us enough to come see us, but apparently that is not the case. she hasn't seen kate since she was 13 months old.
i have my own family to take care of, so tomorrow we are going to have a great day, no matter what happens. i am so glad and thankful to be a mom and wife, and i'm so glad that i have a husband and daughter that love me no matter what.
i want to be there for kate, no matter what, no matter the distance. i'm thankful for the problems in my life, so that i can work harder as a mommy to do things for kate.
i have a great husband and daughter so i couldn't be happier! i hope you all have a happy mother's day, no matter where you are, no matter where your mother is, no matter if you have 4 kids or no kids. i just hope you have a great day and know that the True one loves you more than your mother.

girly land and rainbows

monday, worked the front desk at lagniappe. that was very busy, as i had 3 walk ins. one lady was disabled, 60 years old, and took care of her 39 year old retarded daughter. they both lived in a fema trailer with no income except disability, and they severely needed a new home. i hope Lagniappe can help them.
also met a family that needed help finishing the trimwork in their home. that seems like a minor request when so many people don't even have a home, but they didn't have any trim in their home, and i am sure that could be frustrating to have gaping holes everywhere.
tuesday at LPC was busy-we hosted the Grace Presbytery meeting, and it was lots of fun. i had a great time catching up with old friends and we had a yummy lunch that was very impressive.
wednesday we had a big staff meeting all morning, and i spent the rest of the afternoon at home cleaning and preparing for my thursday mary kay party. thursday i did more prep work for the party, expecting 10 folks, but 5 showed. it was the perfect number-we could have fun and laugh, and there was plenty of room and time from the mary kay consultant to help each one of us. of course, she is pressuring me to sell, but i do not feel the need for that right now. i am going to have to tell her no, something that is hard for me to do.
i got tons of free products so that is the good part. the bad part; mary kay is not my favorite but i am going to try it to see if i can like it. i used to sell it moons ago in college but was not in love with their products.
today i stayed at home with kate, as there were rumors of lice at day care, and i ended up having a fabulous day with her. we played, we wrestled, we hugged, we cuddled, we napped. very fun. she is a sweet girl and i am privileged to be part of her life.
tonight i saw a very funny episode of "everybody loves raymond." i think it was a scene from my weekly life. ray, who is a reporter, finally got tickets to the superbowl. he took a photographer from the newspaper where he works, with him. his wife, of course, felt left out, and at least wanted to be invited. she gave him a hard time, but he said, "honey, no one else's wife will be there-it's boring, it's the superbowl, we can spend time together when i get back." personally, i wouldn't want to go to the superbowl with andy, unless he wanted me there, but i know he would prefer a male friend to go to share the fun. i would at least like to be wanted there, like debra was. anyway, he proceeded to go to the superbowl with his friend, and all of his colleagues were there, with their wives. at this point, he felt horrible, embarrassed, and bought a plane ticket for his wife, and flew her out. she was so excited to be included. once she arrived, she realized that she really wasn't there to have fun-her husband had to work, had to play golf with colleagues, and she pitched a fit. just to prove his love, and the fact that he wanted to spend time with her, he ripped up his superbowl tickets and ate them. they spent the rest of the night fighting over that, as debra was mad that he did that because she wanted him to go to the game, and ray was mad that she wasn't floored at his sacrifice. they ended up watching the game together on tv-and she fell asleep.
isn't that how we work? women want it all, but when they get it, they don't want it ALL. they just want some attention-but only at the right time. ray even said, "if you let me go to the game, when i come home, we'll go wherever you want. we'll hike in the mountains, wear matching sweaters, and we won't even leave until we find a rainbow. we'll go to girly land and we'll love it. we'll shop at the pottery barn outlet and everything." isn't that the truth-women want men to want to go to the spa, and women also want their husbands to invite them to the superbowl, even if they don't want to be there.
women want it all. (read: i want it all) i want andy to invite me everywhere; i want him to want me. i have resolved to hold him with an open palm-if he wants to invite me to do something, great. if he wants to go with a friend, that's great. i cannot control him. i cannot take him to girly land and expect him to love it.
and i have a feeling, in the end, we'll be watching the game and falling asleep.
even when i get what i want, it's never perfect. that's sinful nature kicking in. i hate sinful nature. it never satisfies.
it's just like hoping for the perfect valentine's day. i don't care who you are, you'll never have EXACTLY what you're hoping for!
so here's to girly land and finding your rainbow.
but i do have a fantabulous hubby that is sensitive to my needs, that knows when i need him, and knows when i'm mad even by my lack of words.
he knows when i'm hurt, based on my facial expression, regardless of what i'm saying. i'm very thankful for him, no matter who he takes to the superbowl.

more flowery junk

this is the decoration on my bar, which is in my kitchen and attached to the dining room. i used a glass barq's root beer bottle, which was first bottled here on the coast (Biloxi) in 1897. they actually have a great website, and i wikipediaed the product to learn more, and it was cool. it is WAY better than A & W!!!!!!!
i found some wildflowers, amazingly enough. they were on the side of the road across from the beach. i was so excited to see wildflowers here! they actually are coreopsis, which is the MS state wildflower. (my mom taught me that long ago.)
i know lots of MS history, so if you need to know just ask. she even made Mississippi mud cake for my 2nd grade class one time just so we would be able to experience it.
anyway, also on my favorite platter, which is a lime green French pottery piece, i have a Good Earth bowl, which was pretty popular where we used to live. i haven't seen it sold down here except in swanky Diamondhead community, 15 miles east.
I also have my delicious "Good Morning" Yankee Candle, of which I have not found a better brand of candle.
i know this post seems very self righteous and snobby but i love these products and i wanted to share them with you. i love decorating, even though andy thinks it's a waste of time, but it's my outlet.

summer dining room

my summer decor for the dining room that i never use but only look at has some zinnias, some peter's pottery (i collect the rabbits, and all the animals) and some orange pottery from louisville, ms.
my dining room table was a gift from my great aunt, ann sudduth, because the surface was ruined once when they "ate some hot baked potatoes on paper plates," thus ruining the finish. andy and i refinished it, and it looked great, until we served a dinner on paper plates, and we did the same thing.
a tablecloth works. the table is from the 1940s and was passed to her from a friend.
the chairs were my grandmothers, which she had in her kitchen in jackson, ms. the end chairs my mom bought at wal mart.
we got the sideboard in louisville, ms for 90 dollars because it has a big chip in the side. no one to this day has noticed it (and at least said anything about it.)
enjoy!

it's a girl!

my mailbox brought me something wonderful today-a new kate spade purse, and her name is Ashbury. demand for her was so popular that she is no longer available, unless you are a savvy, swanky shopper like me.
i think my other purses will envy her, but isn't that how it always goes? i still love you all, my darling purses.

a week in the life of cammie chapman

i am going to try to recap my week with a numerical list. i just want to see how many items it becomes. the number following the event denotes the number of times the event occurred.

1. went to church
2. took some good naps (2)
3. cooked dinner (3)
4. went to chickfila (1) but it was very good
5. went to target
6. shopped for new outfits for the first time since i've had kate
7. cleaned my entire house in one night
8. ran the front desk at church (2)
9. went to staff meeting and Bible study
10. tried to go to bed by 10 pm (2)
11. took kate to school (4)
12. took car to car wash and vacuumed the sand out
13. enjoyed a day at the salon
    
14. redecorated dining room table
15. spanked kate (3)
16. kissed kate (40)
17. heard new words from kate: school, hat
18. emptied dehumidifiers (12)
19. checked mail and found nothing interesting (6)
20. watched something good on Oprah (0)
21. enjoyed Grey's (0)
22. changed diapers (30)
23. made beds (10)
24. made sippy cups and administered medicine (10)
25. read a magazine (1)
26. grocery shopped (1)

i did have a good week, though. highlight was the day at the salon with mimosas and pampering. this happens only once every few months. (the salon is next door to andy's office, so i could look out the window and see him talking on the phone. it was weird!)
he has a really cool office, and i'm thankful for it.
kate has been feeling great, and i'm also thankful for that. she's been so fun and we have had a fun time.
friday night at home equals laundry and dishes, something that needs to be done.
i'm also in LOVE with these dishes that i saw on sale this week at the department store. I always wanted to get fiesta ware for my house, and i even registered for it when we were engaged, but andy wanted something from Pier 1, so we changed. I had to un-register for the fiesta ware, something that i regret to this day. the Pier 1 dishes are all chipped and cracked.
the BEAUTIFUL fiesta ware was calling my name. it's the group designed by Homer Laughlin and it is fantabulous. if i were dishes, i would be these. in every color and every shape. i could lick them up.
i do have a dream i want to share. i have a dream that one day i will be on Wheel of Fortune. that is MY game. i love it just like my 73 year old great uncle that watches it every night and then goes to sleep at 7 pm. one day, you'll see me on there.
why do the girls on "Deal or No Deal" have to wear hoochie clothing? that has nothing to do with anything. it would be the equivalent of al roker wearing a bathing suit to do the weather on the today show. meaningless. irrelevant. i mean, are there girls that want to grow up to reveal the cases on Deal or no deal? is that a new life goal?
it's sorta like oprah's dogs having a life coach, which they do.
i do not understand!

just wanted to update you that andy changed the name of his web design company from Big River Systems to Fox Web Company which is a better, more self-explanatory name (since Fox is my mother's maiden name, as well as the name of a very cunning, intelligent animal.)
he has been working diligently on developing his company, so if you need a website, or anyone you know needs one, he's the best. please let us know. i also freelance for them, so give me something to work on. you'll be very happy about it.
thanks!

last week was a blur of kate being sick and me trying to take great care of her. we spent LOTS of time together, and i really liked it. even though she was grumpy. she is an amazing little girl. she can go from mad to laughing in 2 seconds. wed-fri we spent at home, trying to get well, trying to fix her good sippy cups and yummy popsicles. saturday i had enough cabin fever so we went to the beach all afternoon, and it was great. of course i got sunburned, but what else is new? i just enjoy the sunshine too much. kate had fun playing with the other little girls that belonged to missy, tara, and kelly (my church friends) so all was well. that evening, some of us went to new orleans for a night on the town, and a good time was had by all. sunday was spent at church, then taking fabulous sunday naps (which are the best) and then back to the beach. susan had a beach party, and it was fun. i've never been to a real beach party before, and i loved it. we were all relaxing, sitting in our chairs. kate stayed at the beach for the longest ever-3 hours. although there were some times that were trying when she wanted ALL my attention, i'm thankful that jordan took the time to bury her in the sand, that andy played frisbee with her, that andrew chatted with her. that susan brought zoe, the dog, so she could have a small friend her size. food being cooked on the beach is very sandy, which i don't enjoy. it's too crunchy. but it's a nice concept.
i had fun taking kate home that evening, because she sat in the rocking chair in her room, and i gave her some books, and she spent about 20 minutes looking at them, talking to herself while i did her laundry and settled the house down. (turned off lights, put things away, etc while checking on her every 2 minutes). it was so peaceful and sweet; she had a freshly washed body with clean clothes, clean hair, good smelling lotion, a pacifier, a sippy cup, and total contentment on her face. it was great. she went to bed without a peep.
today andy spent the day in laurel, and i was home with kate all day. the morning started with 2 spankings, but after that all was good. i felt sick all day, and i don't know if it's something i caught from her, or what, but it was miserable. she was a little peacemaker though and she was good to me. she cuddled me a lot.
andy put her to bed tonight, which was so great for me. of course, monday night is "monday night cleaning club" so i clean my whole house every monday night. (while i watch the bachelor.) it's quite productive because i know it's monday, and i know it's time to clean. laundry, mopping, vacumming, the works. our vacuum died tonight, sadly, so tomorrow i am on the search for a new one. (Man, you must be excited, my dear reader, to know that my vacuum died. i bet you are peeing your pants in anticipation of me getting a new vacuum.)
that brings me to a new realization-maybe my blog is boring! well, i'm just living the dream-the fantabulous life of mommy, of course.
i have no idea who reads my blog, who finds it interesting, but that's okay. it's mainly for my sanity.
i was reading an article in southern living today, which bothered me. there was a male decorating his home for a kentucky derby party, and when asked what he used for decor, he said, "I just use whateve i find lying around my home." first of all, what male decorates for a party? and what male just has things lying around? that article disturbed me and made me feel inadequate for not having "decor lying around." i flipped the page and gave it no more thought.
i have not been having any good mail these days. i am an optimist in that department; i keep hoping for a letter, a package, but alas, nothing. junk mail, creepy catalogs (pottery barn is quite overwhelming because it's so expensive), and more junk mail. my mom sometimes sends me stuff, but it's quite disappointing and surprising. she usually sends a note, then some newspaper clippings which do not appeal to me, and maybe some coupons. but i love seeing her handwriting, i love the thought that went into the note. even though she and I are on two different planets, we are both somewhat similar. we are very sentimental, we both love mail, we both love dogs. we are both sensitive, though i am much more than she is, we both love being different. our sense of style is so different we are polar opposites, and our opinions on many topics are varied. she's a democrat, i'm conservative; she wears no makeup, i love it; she hates to shop; i love it.
but i am my mother's daughter, and it's interesting to see how we both grow.
i love the weather here on the coast lately. just perfect. each day is a postcard, and is perfect for the beach. that's why i keep getting sunburned, because it is so enjoyable!