thanks

as you are sitting down to your cozy family dinner tomorrow, remember those who aren't with you; those that are serving in other countries in the military, those that are missionaries to other countries that are missing you; those family members that live too far away to travel. also, think about the MS coast. families still living in an RV with no room to cook a turkey dinner, no money to buy a turkey, no happiness (because their hope is in worldly things.)
as i went for a walk today with bright blue sky, 65 degrees, and kate asleep in the stroller, i had a good time to think. i pondered what i've done on past thanksgivings. growing up, i spent the days at my grandmother's house (which was right next door) with my cousins. we'd play in the yard and eat. we didn't really socialize too much. when i went to college, i'd usually make it to my parent's house for a family dinner. when i got married, our first thanksgiving was torture. we went to andy's grandmothers, leaving my parents out. we called them from atlanta, and they were so sad, that we immediately packed up and drove to jackson, ms to be with them for the friday following thanksgiving. spent time with them, then drove back to starkville. basically a 40 hour trip or so. just for living in fear of disappointment. the following year was spent in atlanta.
the following year, we had a family thanksgiving in louisville. my parents came to visit and i cooked quite a meal. it was nice but boring.
after that, we spent thanksgiving in louisville with the byrds, a wonderful family from our church. we had 2 month old kate sleeping by our side as we dined, and i tried to nurse somewhat haphazardly and finally we went home to put up our tree. (that's my big tradition that i created for my house-putting up/decorating the tree around/after tgiving.) we felt some pressure from our families because we weren't with them, but we had a GREAT day. no traveling, no stress.
this year has been stressful for me. once again dealing with the fear of disappointing our families, i'm also planning a huge dinner at Lagniappe for 500 people that we've worked with/helped. i didn't realize what all i had to do until TODAY. i've been scheduling volunteers to help us from redeemer church in jackson, ms as well as others-but i didn't realize the scope of things i had to handle-who will empty the trash, who will warm up the oven......so today was not great but i learned a lot, learned that i am not invincible like i think i am, learned that i need help. tomorrow i will be up bright and early at Lagniappe to help lead teams, and assist with the big dinner. i've made flyers, we've called lots of people, we have a great meal planned. i also have some family that lives in bay st louis, and i hope to drop by their home tomorrow to say hello. (again not wanting to disappoint any type of family member, but wanting to visit with them at the same time.)
my mom hasn't called in a few days, so i assume that's how she's dealing with us not coming to thanksgiving.
it's also odd that i am not cooking anything-except for the pecan pie i threw together last night (not too tasty, it didn't work out) and for the bread pudding i'm working on right now.
so, i am sad that we are not with our families, although it is impossible to be in 2 places at once, but i'm happy that i can have a thanksgiving with my husband and my baby, as well as all the homeowners that we can serve tomorrow. i'm thankful that i have a house in which to live, food on the table, and a fun family that i live with.
i'm thankful for the ways in which God is present in my life, in the not so fun ways He teaches me, in the ways I can see Him amidst the chaos here. life here is not easy; it's hard, but it's good. i'm thankful for it.
after much shopping around, and realizing that i left my xmas tree and lights in louisville, i got a new tree yesterday at lowes and lights today. i spent 1 hour with andy and kate fluffing it up and putting the lights on, and-get this-i'm allergic to the dang tree. i broke out in a rash and i'm taking benadryl.
i rearranged the living room as to give the tree a proper place in the room. i get super psyched about Christmas.
kate has been teething since our trip. oh yeah i forgot to write about the trip. i made a RANDOM trip to louisville last thursday after andy talked me into it. i didn't want to go because i didn't want to be in the car that long with booger bear kate but it was alright. we borrowed a truck to go, and we were off. we had the truck packed. we stayed with the spanns in louisville, and it was perfect. we almost had a whole floor to ourselves. i enjoyed being there; i enjoyed the beauty of the town and the comfort of it. however, it did not feel like home as much. it felt natural to be there, but i longed for the bay. someone said the word "crabcakes" and i missed it here!
i was happy to get home after a long trip of entertaining kate. it was great to see old friends though, and very comforting to me.
so back to the teething. kate hasn't eaten much lately, been hard to handle as that black crowes song goes, and generally stressing me out. i love her dearly, though. i know my own mom put up with that in me, too.
i've been scheduling lots of teams lately to come to lagniappe in the new year; so that's exciting.
i love the cold weather, i miss my friends and family. i love kate taylor and i love that now she can kiss me. she is a joy to be around and i'm so thankful for her.
those of you without children simply cannot understand how wonderful it is to have a baby. it is the hardest thing, but the absolute best thing. it is a joy.
i can see andy's eyes light up in delight when kate starts to dance, or she starts to read a book, because we didn't know she would pick one up by herself. it's amazing.
God is so good to me, and i'm so thankful for His grace each day.
have a great thanksgiving, but don't forget those who aren't as happy as you are. they might be your next door neighbor, a family member, etc. down here, so many people are depressed-it makes me realize how much i have to be thankful for.
here is a brief, silly list:
a car that runs
music
the new sugarland cd
my new dell computer that arrived yesterday, but with a malfunction that they are sending someone to fix
the fact that andy can play guitar
the sabins
the larrouxs
the underwoods
the beach
sangria
kate dancing
blogs
polka dots
grass
cold weather
blue skies
nice candles
Christmas
Jesus
a great house in which to build a family
a great job that i love
grilled chicken
and honey mustard.
susan's breakfast of grits and a bacon sandwich